This morning as I was eating breakfast I felt what I'm 95% certain was a good, solid kick. Boy, was I surprised! I realize that I am only thirteen weeks pregnant, but according to all the baby sites, it's entirely possible to feel one's baby move this early especially if it's not your first pregnancy. At my appointment this afternoon, the nurse practitioner confirmed that there's a good chance what I felt was definitely Baby Graber making his/her presence known. I was feeling pretty good going into today's heartbeat check at the doctor's office. This was supposed to be our first visit checking the heartbeat with only the heart rate monitor, and I was sure all would go as planned.
I had a couple errands to run before going to my appointment this afternoon, and I arrived at the office to meet M with what felt like the lowest anxiety level I've had at an appointment so far. The appointment started off great all through the usual OB appointment stuff...until we got to the point of listening to the heartbeat. There were a couple thumps that sounded like they might have been movement, but no heartbeat! The nurse practitioner didn't waste much time and went almost immediately to check to see if the sonogram room was available. It was not. She said as much as she'd like to be rude and kick whoever was in the room out, she wasn't going to do that and we should try to sit tight. After you have a late pregnancy loss, you automatically get special treatment at the OB's office like worried doctors and nurses wanting to hurry routine appointments up so you don't have time to panic.
We waited for a few minutes trying to keep our anxiety at a reasonable level, and soon the room was ready. I got settled on the table, and it quickly became clear in a flurry of busy little arms and legs why we were having trouble getting a heartbeat, lots of swimming and wiggling. We even got a little wave! Such cute, tiny fingers! As best we can tell given that Baby Graber would not settle down enough to get a clear picture, he/she is measuring exactly on track! Wiggly baby pictures are all we get right now, and it's hard to see much on them besides blurry fuzz. This is one from last week since none of the ones we got this week look much like a person!
I'm pretty sure we can't handle too many more visits like today's, but the nurse practitioner reminded me that having a baby this active is a good sign. Mostly, I've been reminded not to take anything for granted, that I am justified in having high anxiety with this pregnancy, that I am so grateful that there are so many folks at our doctor's office who are incredibly sensitive to all the intense emotions we are feeling with this second pregnancy. As always prayers are appreciated, and we certainly hope that Baby Graber's tendencies to want to give Mommy and Daddy a heart attack are not an indicator that we need to be prepared for anxiety ridden teenage years!!
A Boy - it must be a boy! (Smiley face)
ReplyDeleteThat was exactly my first thought - probably a boy as wiggly as he is! ;)
ReplyDeleteHope, I am the professor of your cousin Hanna, at Messiah. Your aunt Kay gave me the link to your blog. I wish you the very best in your pregnancy, and in your ongoing journey of grief. I lost triplets in 2003, and subsequently had twins, and then a singleton. I remember all too well the emotional and physical challenges of pregnancy after loss. My prayers are with you. Love, Jenell Paris
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