Tomorrow would have been my due date with Faith. In case you're wondering if I've fallen off the face of the planet, I have not. I have, however, been a bit unsure of what to share about these days. There have been many times over the last few days and I'm sure there will be many more over the next week or so when I've thought to myself, "I shouldn't be doing this right now. I should be in labor." It's a strange thought.
My life right now is nothing like I expected it to be a little over four months ago, but in some ways I can't imagine it any other way. My loss has become a part of me. I am not the same person I was this time last year, nor am I the same person I was five or six months ago, but in some ways, I feel like I've made peace with the person I have become. I have discovered a new strength through this experience, and I am counting on that strength to carry me through tomorrow and all that it represents for us. I wish I didn't know just how strong I can be.
Thoughts and prayers are much appreciated tomorrow and over the next few days!
I have thought of you a lot this month and wondered how you were doing (as I am dealing with my own issues and have been a bit selfish lately). I hope tomorrow is a day that you can celebrate that life that Faith lived and remember the love that you had, and, still have for her. You will survive tomorrow. You have survived so much worse than this. Hugs. Rachel
ReplyDeleteHi I am very sorry for your loss. I was hopping from blog to blog to not feel so alone. We recently lost our Jonathan at 20 weeks. I am sure my due date will be hard. Just wanted you to know another hurting mommy was here and comforted to not be alone. I love your gratitude buttons very encouraging!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from Rachel's blog. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteSending love and thoughts.
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