Over the last seven weeks (has it really been seven weeks!), I've received several much appreciated gifts to help me remember Faith that I want to share. I wear most of them every day so if you see me face to face I hope this blog helps to explain my new bling. While I am definitely not the girly-est of girls, I do enjoy jewelry, but I'm not sure that I've ever worn quite as much as I have in recent weeks. So, here's the story behind some wonderful surprises and a few thank yous to the special people who gave me these gifts!
One week after giving birth I was getting quite stir crazy sitting in the house, but I was under doctors' orders to take it easy. In my desperation to get out, M and I ran a few easy errands including a couple hours at his school where I helped him with grading and filing. One of our errands took us to a local jewelry store to look at opal rings. We were expecting Faith to share her birthstone with her daddy, but in fact she shares mine as well. We looked at a number of rings, but I decided I wasn't ready to purchase any of them. On Halloween, M surprised me with one of the rings we had looked at and I had decided I wanted. He also surprised me with a pair of tiny, delicate opal earrings.
(Three stones, one for each of us!)
I've worn both of these every day since M gave them to me. They help me feel connected to my daughter. They remind me that I am her mother even if I don't get to raise her, that she is part of me always.
A couple weeks later a wonderful friend surprised me with these:
They are fertility bracelets made by a couple of friends who each experienced a miscarriage. The stones are supposed to help you conceive. I'm not sure that I fully believe that the stones can do what I'm told they will, but I do fully believe in the power of positive thinking. These bracelets are a reminder to me of the reason my daughter's name is Faith. Her name is Faith because we have faith that our journey together is not over, that we will one day be able to see her healthy and whole in heaven. Her name is Faith also because we have faith that one day we will tell her story to her siblings.
Last week in the midst of my stressful class preparations, this arrived in the mail from one of my aunts:
The amethyst would have been Faith's birthstone had she been born as we planned. In so many ways, my daughter has two birthstones, something none of us have achieved! This wonderful aunt spent (and sometimes still spends) countless hours giving my cousins and I makeovers and manicures. I know she would have done the same for my daughter! She also lost her father just a few days before we lost Faith. Aunt K, I can't tell you how comforting it is to me to think of all the wonderful people who join my baby in heaven. She has such amazing company!
I have also been so inspired by some of the cards and emails we've received. The card all of the youth in my youth group at church signed is one of my favorites! You guys are the best! Spending time laughing and smiling with you each week makes all of this loss and grieving stuff so much easier! I also have to send a shout out to my best friends from college! Don't know what I'd do without you girls! H, your email yesterday came at just the right time and I'll be sending one back shortly!
All of this is really just my attempt at a huge, general "thank you" to all of you who have been support me during this time! Even when I hurt, I know I am blessed. You are my best blessings, so thank you!
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